man (5:40:09 PM): i think bout givin it to u evveery dayyyy
woman (5:43:51 PM): every day?
woman (5:44:03 PM): hmmm…
woman(5:44:16 PM): thats a lot of days
man (5:54:40 PM): i know
woman (5:56:36 PM): tsk tsk tsk
man (5:57:05 PM): dont u think bout it
woman (5:57:40 PM): i get wet everytime i think about the nights we used to have…
woman (5:58:43 PM): but then i remember you have a girlfriend and realize im playing myself and i dry the hell up
The above is called a “Drunken Negro Face Cookie”, conceptualized, designed, baked, and sold, by Greenwich Village bakery, Lafayette French Pastry. Yep, they were featured in Sex and the City. However, Ted Kefalinos, LFP’s proprietor, would like to feature something of his own, in *honor* of our newly elected Black president. This video speaks louder than any words I could type…
more about "UPDATE: "Drunken Negro Face" Cookies …", posted with vodpod
Dear Nutella,
I know last night wasn’t new – another strike for me, another score for you – but these gooey palatable sins have got to swallow themselves into nonexistence, because quite frankly, my thighs can’t handle it anymore. Yes, we can agree that I sought you out, undressed you with my eyes, whatever. But you seduced me. And how could I resist. That dark sticky hazelnut skin, those creamy saccharine globs of brown. Goddamn. I would spread your triple thick chocolateyness all over my lips, morning, noon and night if could. But I can’t. The gym is far, and well, you’re just not worth the trip. I’d ask for one last taste, but we both know where that would lead. So it’s best we stop now. Forgive me.
Sincerely,
trace
dear, nikki farquharson
you’re the shit.
sincerely, trace
does this make anyone else feel ridiculously uncomfortable?
The more I think about Obama’s presidency, the more I believe in destiny. All the way down to the elementary age of his Black beauties, Sasha & Malia. I can’t imagine how frantic my mind would be if these girls were in their teens. Photos of them hugging up on rappers, rumors of sloppy pregnancies, high school beer binging…Black America wouldn’t be able to handle it. So to the Almighty One – thank you : )
My President is black
My Maybach too
And I’ll be goddamn if my diamonds ain’t blue
My money’s dark green and my Porsche’s light grey
And I’m headed for D.C., anybody feel me?
My President is Black in fact he’s half White
So even in a racist’s mind he’s half right
Even in these racist times we all right
My President is Black but his house is all white
Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther could walk
Martin Luther walked so Barack Obama could run
Barack Obama ran so all the children could fly
So I’m gonna spread my wings you can meet me in the sky
I already got my own clothes I already got my own shoes
I was hot before Barack, imagine what I’m gonna do
Hello Miss America, hey pretty lady
Red white and blue flag wave for me baby
Never thought I’d say this shit, baby I’m good
You can keep your puss, I don’t want no more Bush
No more war, no more Iraq
No more white lies, my President is Black
I’m so happy this color doesn’t wash off, cause damn I’ve never been more proud to be Black. ‘Notorious’ grossed over 20mil this weekend, we’re celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day on this tenacious 19th of January and tomorrow there will be a Black First Family in the White House. I can’t take it. I might burst and spill years of pride, nationalism, and hope all over these bedsheets. Composure. Composure.
Good lord, Hov.
If you didn’t know, trace is bisexual, but if there were any man to spin me straight, it would be yeezy. below is exactly a bit of what i’d been trying to tell people during the original 808s hate. However, here it is coming directly from the source’s mouth via this month’s VIBE. Please don’t give Kanye a flute, the kids will disappear.
“I put “Love Lockdown” originally off-pitch to prove a point about life, about religion, about relationships. People always try to be so fucking perfect, and I think that there’s some beauty in imperfection. People should embrace their flaws…your grandmother wasn’t perfect, but you still love her.”
“There’s guys out there, nobody spoke on our behalf before. Whatever about the singing. Fuck all the singing, fuck the Auto-Tune. fuck the He’s a rapper, he’s not a rapper, he’s going through something, he has to get this out of his system, he’s crazy. Fuck all that. It’s men out there who have never had anyone to speak on their behalf about the way they feel in a relationship…we feel hurt…we feel pain. That more than anything – more than the way I wanted to deliver this art – is the message behind it.”
Okay, maybe it’s not so much Beyonce as it is Sasha. But either way “Diva” is bloated with lines of pander I just can’t bear to swallow. All the elements of Sasha’s usual recipe for female empowerment are there: a glaze of androgynous attitude, spurts of shameless ‘I’m that chick’ plugs and of course a friday night groove. Only thing is this time I’ve been fed too much. The rehashed cliches are strikingly substandard from the Fierce I used to know, and as a friend of mine said, “this is her lowest common denominator shit ever”. Word. I mean heavy rotation works for this song, but such was the same for “Sexy Can I”. And we all know that hit was sugared in shit.
I’ll keep it so real with you, a singing kid annoys me. And after some short personal analysis, I think it’s because I forever pulped any epiphany suggesting that I in fact couldn’t sing. See my ears started getting these crazy ideas back in the early 2000s that my vocal chords had somehow become the strongest part of my body. I blame this all on Britney Spears, whose lucky saccharine harmonies had me thinking i could belt out national anthems on malnutritioned lungs. Bitch. So mini Whitneys, pint sized Aguileras…yeah they don’t do it for me. I envy children who can outgame adults, especially when it comes to their lifelong dreams.
Now dancing. That’s my sport. Shorty up top can have all of Sesame Street hollering her name, but I’m not phased…Oh god, I just realized I’m talking smack about a fifth grader in a pink skirt. Sigh. Britney, this is all your fault.
