Archive for July, 2008

[!]

Posted in midday wow with tags on July 26, 2008 by trace

three reasons why you shouldn’t cheat on a crazy girlfriend…

hahahahaha

audiogasmic

Posted in speaker food with tags , on July 25, 2008 by trace

My man AC put me on to yet another ipod creamer. Two weeks ago it was AC/DC, last night it was Big L.

Now if you’re shaking your head, disappointed in the long, scenic route I unknowingly took to meet my discoveries, I understand.

However, this is where I’ll silence you with an oldie, but goodie…

better late than never.

Now, for the misses and gents who anxiously await a taste of my goods (ha), don’t worry, I got you. But before I fatten up your ears, we gotta first zoom in on the essentials of my man Big L.

Gov’t stamp: Lamont Coleman

Headrest: Harlem

5 sec pitch: This man owns the sperm that birthed punchline rappers

Heyday: ’95

Dead or Alive: Peaced by way of murder

Snippet: Battles I lose none, I make crews run
I get fools done, got ten fingers but only use one
My run is like Machine Gun Kelly, with a black skully
Put one in your belly, leave you smelly, then take your Pelle Pelle
I’m the neighborhood lampor, punani vamper, mess around you’ll find My silkboxers in your mommy’s hamper
_____________

Styles are always inspired. If yours is from dude E, then it’s also from dude D. Don’t mess with the lineage of a potent trickle down effect. Big L molded NY rap to his suiting back when booths sounded like dog pounds. The jabs of Jay, Fab and the self-proclaimed “best rapper alive” were all influenced by L. The man is worth your research. So get schooled with the love below. It’s 7min in heaven. Enjoy.

more: http://gooddoctorzeus.blogspot.com/2007/08/albums-you-should-own-big-l-lifestylez.html

pot of gold

Posted in M&M with tags , on July 23, 2008 by trace

Usually when people start off a sentence with, “I hate to do this, but…” it means something highly irritable, invective, or unneccessary is about to buzz off their tounge.

So, I won’t start my sentence that way. However, some of you are bound to feel (excuse me) be ostracized from this post. So if after reading this you find yourself sitting segregated – get over it. 

 

I fux heavy with Stila. Yesterday morning I greeted my lids with a thin line of night from their incredibly obedient smudge pots collection. Soon after, went about my biz for 11hrs and finally made it back to the crib. After an unexpected crash, I headed to the washbin to free up my face. Now the climax: I looked in the mirror, pushed my naps to the side, and could not believe my eyes (literally). The blinkers still looked like 10s! Holla! Take it from Sephora’s legendary tomboy, these pots are the shiiit.

8:57pm

Posted in caffeine dreams on July 22, 2008 by trace

My heart finally ceased the unbearable race at 8:57pm. Thank you, God.

I’ve endured my share of mild and major traumas, but have escaped initial breakdowns by way of natural avoidance. That pattern ended sometime around 5:15pm. It was my fault. I should’ve looked longer, but he should’ve sped faster. The beast was close enough to slap the side of my cheek and the rain showed no pity. I swerved right. My sadistic lane swerved me left. But I refused to lose control of the wheel – and my life.

So I controled it.

Sat in the parking lot for 35 minutes and watched 13 cars pass by. Handled my business with a shakey hand. Found my way home and gave my anxiety a nap. Unfortunately, it was a short nap. So I lightened up with some good folks. My heart finally ceased the unbearable race at 8:57pm.

Blogged about my adventure with parkway death.

 

Be easy on the roads kids.

[!]

midday snack

Posted in black girl power, traceinspace on July 22, 2008 by trace

im thinking of posting some convos of me and g flying through space. i’ll keep it real though, i’m hesitant bc they tend to pop with iniquity and i don’t want to offend anyone, but then again i don’t really care, but then again im still looking for a permanent job, but then again they tend to be so ridiculously entertaining and innovative (to us) why shouldn’t i share? oh how the thoughts of life besiege me! whatever, here’s a snippet. i’ll decide later if i want to reallly go in. though im sure patriarchal hierarchy could use a good whipping. (see, that was a preview!)

[12:34] t: i wish i could hop in a bottle and throw myself into the ocean
[12:35] t: i hate stupid fucking america
[12:35] t: and its puritan ways
[12:35] g: im tired of people
[12:35] g: i wanna join the animal kingdom
[12:36] t: haha!!
[12:36] g: how do we go about withdrawing?
[12:36] g:
[12:36] t: we’ve gotta streak
[12:36] g: lol
[12:36] t: clothing is like the oldest form of ideology
[12:36] t: get rid of it!
[12:37] g: lol– hippie ass
[12:37] t: hey, you asked
[12:37] g: lol, hahahahaha maybe i wasnt ready for the answer this early in the day
[12:39] t: there goes that american side of you again
[12:39] t: i think i might add our im convo to my blog
[12:39] t: do i have your permission nubian girl
[12:40] g: do it, we’re so clever
[12:40] g: ..and humble
[12:40] g: hahahahahahahaha

chipotle wannabe

Posted in small screens, speaker food, traceinspace with tags on July 21, 2008 by trace

i swear the day i push out a baby it’s coming sucking on a burrito.

tonight, after my 100th realization that these woods dont serve the crack that is chipotle, i decided to be a little creative and get my pseudo on.

the result?

i call it: mambo #5

ingredients: 1 spicy, grilled chicken (chopped impatiently), 1 croissant (fisted until flat), 2 tbl spoons of wild corn (whatever turns you on), and finally 5 thick spurts of jalapeno hot sauce (preferably bagged from chipotle itself)

takes about 3 1/2 bites to finish…hence the no added photo. sorry folks. but hey, if you want me to get bulimic for ya i can!!!

ha. please.

alright, i need water. this made me laugh more than once, so maybe it’ll do the same for  you.

untitled

Posted in caffeine dreams on July 21, 2008 by trace

It’s the first post and unfortunately (or fortunately for all you lefters) I’ve gotta go a little deep. No, no, you’d don’t need any lube.

Q: When does respect undress its meaning and leave me in shock?

A: This morning.

Afterthought: Quite frankly, I’m appalled. Put your fucking clothes back on. Respect, that is…

____

Okay. All done. You can close your legs now. That was definitely a quickie. Like waiting for the count of three and receiving at the count of two…yeah, that kind of quickie.

I know that was all just a little too abstract for a drowsy monday, but hey, I had to get that off my twins. don’t fret though, i’m forecasting clearer skies for next time’s flight.

and if you haven’t noticed – because you’re too busy choking on sweaty balls of joy – traceinspace is finally here!

now go and cough up that old man’s pubes. nastyass.

[!]